Faith in godmen helps keeping the city safe

You must be aware of a section of individuals who are self-styled godmen and who have immense following amongst the masses. Millions throng maidans and public places to listen to them and to be 'healed' and to be 'guided'. The godmen couldnt be happier, for all these crowds translate into having tsunamis of cash flowing into their coffers.

Now, the fact is that if a large chunk of populace gets attracted by these godmen ( lets call them GM1, Gm2 .. GMn ) , then this reduces the probablility of these crowds from doing something stupid or indulging in crime etc. At least they are occupied by GMx, so they wont be available, or wont have time to indulge in anti-social activities.

This itself is an achievment, in this super-dense-crush-load of people that are in our city.

You can refer to this blog for more information on Godmen. The author of this blog is doing a series on them, so keep your eyes peeled to the pages.

The idea mooted out here was once described by the author of the above blog.

The rivers and the house of God

Our famous two rivers are just back from Tirupati. Ganga is the one who prefers the cool climes of an air-conditioned bedroom. Jamuna is the one who is adventerous and likes to visit places. Personality wise both differ considerably , but certain non-apparent reasons keep them bound together most of the time.

Now recently, theyd been to Tirupati, to attend the general body meeting of an all-India sports association. You see, although in historic times both the rivers were 'computer programmers', their more recent avtars has them deciding on issues such as carrom strikers, boric powder, cricket kits, pads, gloves, passing snacks-vouchers of travelling sportsmen etc. In other words they usually don the role of "Managers" for any touring 'sportsteam' of our company. Its a far cry, no doubt from being related to computer programming activities.

They are back now and have brought a ton of prasad from there. I havent yet seen this prasad as yet, but as the day goes, I think ill get some.

They are now busy trying to wrangle in some kind of Ganesh Mahotsav programme for the company. It will keep them busy at what they do best. Focus is the word. I wish more such people take to these kinds of roles. May their tribe grow.

The rivers , it may be said, are perfectly harmless.

What ails BEST ?

Alt. title : Dogs of the BEST

This can be also read in context/continuation to the previous blog, also on the BEST.

The employees and management at BEST are the ones who have runied this fine orgranisation. Throw in some political powers and lecherous corporators and youve ensured the failure of the setup.

There is some basic economics and sense in saying that there is no free lunch. More so in a poor country like ours. Its a known fact that even airlines dont offer outright free airline seats to its employees. They have to avail of the facility if seats remain, after regular paying passengers have been accomodated.

So should be the case with the BEST. There used to be some kind of 'rule' that was pasted in the buses, which said that not more than two uniformed staff members (beside the conductor and driver) can travel on the bus. This obviously was scorned by the cadres and soon pressure might have mounted on the BEST to remove the 'rule' from the bus at least. And so it was done, the result being that bonafide fare-paying passengers are deprived of knowning their rights while travelling in the bus. The rule still 'exists' I think.

As a classic example, take the scenario at Deonar Depot. Close to the timings of shifts you can see hoards of BEST staffers cramming into every bus in sight. Getting in from the front doors and stopping buses before and after the regular stops. This is done with impunity and the regular hapless bonafide fare-paying passengers are deprived of seats for which theyve paid. The bus conductors obviously support their own dogs and look the other way. Infact some go to the extent of indicating to the staffers, seats that are likely to be vacated and this makes the staffers poition themselves strategically inside the bus. As far as the blue topis are concerned, the less said the better. If they had more brains, theyd have joined some other place, not the BEST.

The other day one of their own son-of-the-soil co-passengers gave the conductor an earful on this issue. The conductor was raped left and right and was left speechless. So were the other "Dogs of BEST" who had occupied seats.

This issue is relevant more on those routes which are long and passengers would like to sit. But alas, most of Bombay and Mumbai is bsaed on the chalta-hai attitude since the city is full of in-transit and uncommited population (more on this in a another post).

BEST employees suck. They are definetely one of the most unprofessional outfits in the city.

BEST sucks

Another tale that leads to the established fact that BEST sucks.

I was coming to Sion this morning by the BEST bus, when all of a sudden the conductor yelled out to the driver to 'go slow'. The ever obidient driver slowed down to a snails pace. There wasnt much traffic and I was expecting that we would be reaching earlier than normal. But this was not to be. A 35 min. journey took one full hour. All due to the whims and fancies of the BEST staff. They have infact no right to resort to such practices.

What had apparently happened was that several buses of that route had got bunched together. So they probably wanted to space out the buses. But what I mean to say is that this bunching of buses is again due to their ineffeciencies and moreover, passengers who have boarded the bus cannot be made to suffer. One has a reasonable idea as to how much time a journey would take and hence after paying the fare passengers cannot be cheated. Moreover if one is aware of such tendencies one would plan alternately.

The BEST is taking the law into its own hands. This is totally unprofessional in a place like Bombay. Boss, if they think this is Parbhani or Gadchiroli they can quit. If you are going to be in Mumbai or Bombay, play according to the rules, be professional and dont mess.

God save the their cadres when the system gets privatised. Probably we will get to see a historic mass exodus of ineffeiency from the city.

For those who like data:

Boarding time : 8.40 am
Reached Sion at : 9.40 am (normal arrival time would have been 9.15 am)
Ticket serial no : 032-517446
Ticket fare : Rs. 11.85 + 15 paise (some kind of Nutrition charge. Another of BEST's stupidities.)
Bus number : MH-01 L 9401
Conductor badge number : 11892

Panju Island

Alt. title : Ile Panju

This is a small strip of land in the Vasai (Bassein) Creek. A small village by the name of Panjugaon is situated on this island. It is accessible only by boat from the Bhayendar side or from the Vasai side (closer). The other option is to trek on the railway bridge. Infact when you cross the Vasai creek by train, the bridge is constructed in two parts, giving unsuspecting passengers a feeling as if they've crossed two creeks.

Now another thing is that there are no roads, no electricity and no police presence on this island. Most villagers there have a rough time. Their main occupation is fishing and must be mostly relying on Vasai for basic infrastructure and amenities.

The Vasai fort is said to have some tunnels that originate from the fort. One goes towards Virar side (to the Arnala fort in the sea) and one goes towards Panju island. These are pretty inaccessible to the outsider, since they are secretly guarded by locals. These tunnels are also said to go beneath the sea, before they reach their destinations. In any case, if this is true, it must be pretty exciting to go through them. It is essential to know a local of the area to do so. The secret about these tunnels also stems from some folklore that some treasure belonging to the Peshwas lies somewhere buried in them.

Ruth Snyder

RS (1895-1928) became the first woman to be electrocuted at the Sing Sing prison, Ossining, NY, USA on 12 January 1928 11.01 pm. This was after she was awarded the death sentence for the murder of Albert, her husband on 13 March 1927. This had been collaborated along with her lover, Judd Gray.

Thomas Howard, a Daily News photographer and one of the official witnesses had a camera strapped to his leg and he took the photograph of Ruth at the moment she was dying. The day after the execution, Daily News had the front page filled by the enlarged picture showing Ruth at the moment of her death. The picture was such a hit that the News had to run off an additional 750,000 copies.

It is a dramatic, horrifying photograph, and has become famous over the years. Its impact was so great that for all future executions at Sing Sing, witnesses were searched before being allowed into the Death Chamber.

Later, Ogden Nash wrote a play called Machinal based on this case. The part of Judd Gray was played by Clarke Gable.

Ship arriving too late to save a drowning witch

Frank Vincent Zappa (21 December 1940 – 4 December 1993)

An American rock/jazz fusion musician, composer, and satirist.

Born in Baltimore,Zappa was of mixed Sicilian, Italian, Greek, Arab, French, and German ancestry. He was the oldest of four children, with two brothers and a sister. His father, a chemist and mathematician who was born in Sicily, worked nearby at Edwards Air Force Base which had at the time a federal government chemical warfare research facility. Due to their proximity to Edwards AFB, he kept gas masks at home in case of an accident, and this evidently had a profound effect on the young Frank. References to germs, germ warfare and other aspects of the 'secret' defence industry occur throughout his work.

His parents were not musicians but had broad musical tastes also, and he grew up influenced in equal measures by avant-garde composers such as Edgar Varèse and Igor Stravinsky. After reading a magazine review panning Varèse's dissonant drum piece in "Ionisation" as 'a weird jumble of drums and other unpleasant sounds', the teenage Zappa became convinced that he should seek out Varèse's music.

In the early 1990s Zappa devoted almost all of his energy to modern orchestral and synclavier works. In 1990 he was diagnosed with prostate cancer, a disease which caused his death in 1993 at the age of 52.

Zappa was inducted into the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame in 1995.

Zappa was married twice, once to Kay Sherman (1959–1964; no children), and then to Gail (Sloatman) Zappa, with whom he remained until his death. They have four children: Moon Unit, Dweezil, Ahmet Emuukha Rodan, and Diva Muffin.

Umroli (the small sized font station)

Umroli is a station near Palghar. You can see the name of this station if you look up the route map inside any Western Railway EMU local train (above the doors). What is significant is this is written in smaller size. It maybe due to the fact that it was overlooked and was a last min. addition and hence to be accommodated into the layout, it was written in a smaller size. Another reason may be that its not really a station where the locals stop. The picture alongside is of a WCAM-1 thats hauling the Flying towards Bombay. Its taken at Umroli and you can see the station board on the 'platform' thats not even elevated. It resembles one of the countless 'road-side' stations all over India. It gives a feel of what India is all about. And the place is just outside Bombay.

By the way if any one has further information on Umroli and the reason for the small sized fonts used to describe it on the route map inside local trains, then please do comment.

Bordi , Ghatkopar

Alt. title: A king, a queen and a meeting place

Bordi ki rani
Ghatkopar ka raja
Milna hai, to Palghar aaja

(Queen from Bordi, King from Ghatkopar, If you want to meet come to Palghar)

Towards north of Mumbai lies Bordi, a quiet seaside resort fringed by casuarinas. The area is famous for its chikoo and other fruit orchards. Also famous out here is the serene Dahanu-Bordi beach.

Palghar is also a coastal town on the outskirts of Bombay. The Arabian sea coast is just 8 to 10 km away from the town. And to its east it has some small mountains of the Sahyadri range. There are farms growing chickoos, coconuts, palm dotted all around villages around Palghar.

That leaves us with Ghatkopar. Its a suburb of Bombay between Kurla (Coorla) and Thane (Thana) on the Central Railway mainline. This middle class suburb consists of predominantly residential and retail establishments. Not to forget the endless traffic jams between Chirag Nagar and Shreyas Cinema on the LBS Road (Agra Road).

Now to our rhyme : A friend is from Ghatkopar, his beloved from Bordi. Both are working at our company. So Palghar becomes a convenient meeting place. I really dont know if this has ever happened but would sure like it to happen.

The origins of this killer rhyme are from a slogan inscribed behind a truck, spotted near IIT a few months back. It had the orginal version which went like:

Vashi ki rani
Western ka raja
Milna hai to Vikhroli aaja

(Vashi is a suburb on the outskirts of Bombay, Western refers to the western suburbs and the WE Highyway and Vikhroli is another suburb between Ghatkopar and Thane on the Central Railway mainline. It is approx. halfway between Vashi and the WE Highway and hence its significance in this rhyme).

Coming back to our Ghatkopar friend. There are several others also whom he knows. So we extend this rhyme to ...

SCADA ki rani
Corporate ka raja
Milna hai to Receiving aaja

Hotel R

Just outside our office, across the lane is Hotel R. This place has been around for ages. Infact folklore says that it's situated on land owned by the company and infact the proprietor of Hotel R has even won a case against the company over ownership issues related to that land.

Now, Hotel R, caters primarily to our office people and the thousands of customers who pour in and out of our office all day. He serves decent tea and snacks like wade and smose and has recently also added more popular south indian and punjabi snacks to his repertory. Morning , lunch time and evening are usually when its packed and perons dont mind waiting for 5/10 mins. to get inside.

Its not a posh place. Rather seedy looking and dirty. Not the place you would enter after a first glance. But its good.

His boys are regulars inside our office and can be seen at any time ferrying parcels and flasks of snacks and tea/coffee to emplyoees at their workplaces. This is something even the company cannot provide to its emplyoees, excepting the glass house residents. His boys are never stopped by security and freely roam around, and even take orders from regulars during their sojourns inside. His boys know most people by name , face and department.

Infact this hotel can also serve as a important guiding point to his customers, coming for their work, into our company. His boys can direct them to the correct building/floor/officer for whatever work they have with the company. Our company, sadly lacks such a basic service for its own customers.

Recently there was some hue and cry over his boys invading our premises and there was some kind of ban of them entering. For obvious reaons, it didnt last long and they were back. After all even the law-imposers themselves benefit from this service. But soon after this, the proprietor of Hotel R, made his boys wear uniforms to reflect a distinguised look - maybe keeping pace with the corporate image of our company.

Georges Rémi (Hergé)

HERGE (23 May 1907 - 3 March 1983)

Hergé (pseudonym of Georges Remi : when reversed the abbreviations are RG which leads to R-G or HERGE), Belgian author and illustrator, created Tintin in 1929 and produced 24 volumes of the internationally famous bande dessinée by the time of his death.

Georges Remi was born in 1907 in Etterbeek, near Brussels, Belgium. His parents, Alexis and Elisabeth Remi, formed a middle-class couple and lived in Brussels.

On the 10th of January, 1929, the first episode of 'Tintin au Pays des Soviets' ( Tintin in the land of the Soviets) was created.

The strip chronicled the adventures of a young reporter named Tintin and his pet foxhound Snowy (Milou) as they journeyed through the Soviet Union. The character of Tintin was inspired by Georges' brother Paul Remi, an officer in the Belgian army.

Joan Baez

Joan Chandos Baez was born on 9 January 1941 in Staten Island, New York. Her father was a physicist, born in Mexico, and her mother of Scottish and English descent. She grew up in New York and California, and when her father took a faculty position in Massachusetts, she attended Boston University and began to sing in coffeehouses and small clubs.

Joan Baez, American folksinger, is of Mexican, Scottish, and English descent. Many of her songs have a political message, and she has been an activist for peace and human rights.

In some of her words:

My concern has always been for the people who are victimized, unable to speak for themselves and who need outside help.

All serious daring starts from within.

As long as one keeps searching, the answers come.

If it's natural to kill, why do men have to go into training to learn how?

Super speciality clinics

A 'reputed' company is starting some super speciality clinics in the basement of their corporate office primarly for the CSW's of that company. (CSW not the CSW what you generally relate to). These CSW are well qualified nympys here. Amongst the clincs some are - ABORT = the abortion clinic, the SUPER-STD shoppe, Condom-Cola = the free condom vending machine. Beside this stickers have been proposed to be stuck in corridors and lifts and they would proclaim and urge people to practice safe sex. What a great movement ... and the icing is that the orange coloured condoms would have the company logo and the name of its super duper founder. One cant wait to lay ones hands ... or rather ... on them.

Maharashtra government & Jhony Joseph fail miserably

Post-flood relief measures taken by the govt. have failed miserably. Most of the rations and provisions meant for the flood affected have been diverted to the black markets. The people who were distributed the relief measures, were the ones who werent affected in the first place. All this was done in the presence of the supreme lady commander of thier party. Disease and epedimic is raging and the number of casualties are increasing by leaps and bounds. No one in the administration knows what to do.

Jhony Joseph - the crackpot IAS officer that he is - is such a moron - he woouldnt know where Mumbai was on the map of India - and the guy is the commisioner of the BMC. Pathetic. The other day there was (and rightly so) an article on this jerk - and it obviously walloped his reputation from all fronts. The next day there were some retaliatory letters from his fellow malloo brethen saying that he wasnt to blame. The IAS / Civil service system of the country is perhaps the biggest drain on India - for it doles out the worst kind of adminstrators - it must be quite a task to hand-pick the worst from all those who apply for joining the IAS.

Mayhem at Santacruz(E) bus station

Come 6 pm and its mayhem time at the Santacruz(E) BEST Bus Station. Head for the 507 Ltd. stop ( for the bus that goes to Nerul) and you will witness BEST at its WORST. Infact its all that they can do. Read on ...


All due to poor scheduling and complete ignorance of traffic conditions on the routes that their buses ply on. People are made to queue up for boarding the buses. Everyone does that diligently. Then a bus comes in. People board it. And then the 'topi' (BEST Ticket checker - also known as TC - with the blue cap) yells out that this bus wont be going and one should board the bus standing on the other side. Naturally there is mayhem - first to get out of this bus and then to scramble into the other one. Bad for elderly persons and women. But then did one expect BEST to care about this. Infact this scene takes place religiously every day, without fail. The blue topis are usually(always) clueless about which bus is in a position to leave (blame it also on poor maintenence of thier buses).


BEST takes pride in calling itself the best bus service in the country. This is a load of crap. If one sees the way their grouind staff handles basic operations, one would puke. Totally pathetic scene. No wonder, that inspite of such grand infrastructure at their disposal, they are running into losses - and the reason for it all = POOR MANAGEMENT.


BEST sucks.

Pope Benedict XIV

Recently the Pope had visited Germany and he has initiated what I feel is one of the most positive and practical steps in recent times that has been taken to curb the menace of terrorism. He has rightly appealed to all religious head that they should take steps to align their followers and direct the way and remove misinterpretation of their religon. This collected effort from all religious heads would surely be a positivie path towards peace. After all religion binds each one of us with the stongest bonds.

The two rivers and the camp

The two rivers we have here amongst us are back in action. The days of the deluge are long gone and they dont have to go into hiding so as to escape from going to remote flood-affected sites and facing irate mobs. They are now busy in arranging medical camps for emplyoees in the company. Its a relatelvey cool and tension free job. The main attraction of course being close to the nurses contingent that comes along with the doctors. Rallying around these kinds is what keeps them high-spirited. The downside being that they have to make it to the office at an unearthly hour of 7am. The upside being that the camp closes by 3.30 pm so that by 4 pm they have tucked themselves into their air-conditioned bedrooms at home. In addition to the nurses, the rivers also get to have a whale of a time with 'the one' - the six foot nymph of the company. More on this contraption in a future blog ...

John Lennon : Imagine

Imagine there's no heaven,
It's easy if you try,
No hell below us,
Above us only sky,
Imagine all the people
living for today...

Imagine there's no countries,
It isnt hard to do,
Nothing to kill or die for,
No religion too,
Imagine all the people
living life in peace...

Imagine no possesions,
I wonder if you can,
No need for greed or hunger,
A brotherhood of man,
Imagine all the people
Sharing all the world...

You may say Im a dreamer,
but Im not the only one,
I hope some day you'll join us,
And the world will live as one.

Written in 1971 and from the album "Imagine" by John Lennon.
A truly fantastic song. Appropriate for all times.
1971 is significant. I came in at that time.

What is this light ?

A dog that had been born during the deluge was spotted the other day lazing in the compound of the company. Now since he was born when there was only water around and no sunshine, he had no way of knowing what the sun was. So while lazing around in the middle, the sun came out for a while and the sunbeams were on the dog. The dog looked up and wondered whats this bright light. From where has it come.

Refer to a previous post where its been said, and truly so, that for light to exist there must be darkness.

Who will build the nation ?

The chief (this person incidently has made it to the list of eminent Maharashtrian personalilites, discussed in a previous post) of one of our leading engineering companies has remarked that most intelligent and educated youngsters leave the country or join software companies. This leaves the firms that actually work towards nation building, with second hand persons and/or incapable persons. Now, its always upto the candidate to pursue his or her choice of career, but then the thought of the brain drain comes to mind. Our country set up the IIT system to cater to our needs. What it has ended up creating is a body-shop for foriegn firms. Our country does the hard work of screening the best and educating them with the best technology and then turns them over to outsiders, leaving companies like these (nation builders) with nothing. Those who do not go abroad join software firms and these firms make a buck from their skills and later these kinds too flee from the country. All awards and pats of the industry and government go to these software firms (who dont really participate in nation building but just earn foriegn exchange - but at what cost ? ). At the cost of the nation. And this is dangerous.

Something needs to be done. The IIT system needs to be accountable for the nation. It uses the best iron ore available in the country and produces the best steel (nothing surprising or significant). Then it sells(?), no rather it gifts this steel abroad. The IIT system is funded by the ordinary Indian taxpayers money and hence the ordinary Indian needs some return on this. What it actually does is nothing different from prostitution. If the IIT system could transform an ordinary candidate into a world class product, then that was something.

Collection time for Ganesh mandals

With the ten day Ganesh festival round the corner, Ganesh Mandals have started making rounds of localities on their collection sprees.

I had been for a haircut yesterday and overheard a conversation between the saloon owner and the gang that had come for collections.

The gang was demanding that the saloon owner shell out 250 bucks for the Ganesh festival. The saloon owner retorted back saying that when the neighbouring gold and silver jwellery shops are paying 150 why are they asking a lowly humble saloon for 250. And moreover, he asked them that what were they doing when the flood waters destroyed the shops. There was nobody to be seen at that time - and now they come around for money. Then he told them that he would be only sheling out 150 and asked them to take it and go and do some actual work.

Well said. This money collection is essentially a racket in the name of religon. Soon after this festival the Dassera/Durga boys will land up demanding their loot. The torture never stops.

Prominent Maharashtrians

I had called upon for sharing the names of eminent, intelligent, honest and noteworthy Maharashtrians who have excelled in their own fields and/or have contributed to Bombay in some way or the other. Personalities from the entertainment business (sports, films, arts) are not to be included in this list. I had started out with two names. I have till then come up with some more. For the sake of completeness I also include the earlier names.

Jayant V. Narlikar
Kirloskar
A. M. Naik
S. S. Tinaikar

Girl from Manipur killed in Bombay

The other day someone killed a girl who had come to the city from Manipur. In all probability the killer will be set free. This could be due to the fact that the accused and the girl both dont fall into the local son-of-the-soil stereotypes. This is rather dangerous. The general mentality is that since they dont 'belong' here, who cares.

But then do these kinds behave differently when it comes to their own kinds ...

Just a few months back a staffer of the big-T mowed down an elderly lady at Vile Parle on the WEH. Now here both the accused and the lady were part of the s-o-t-s. But what happened ... the accused is free and the family of the deceased was left to fend for themselves.

Two books

There are these two terrific books that I'm interested in.

First book

Don't You Have Time to Think? by Richard P Feynman

Feynman's first wife had tuberculosis and died of it in 1945, spending her last months in a sanatorium in Albuquerque while he worked on the Manhattan Project to build the first atom bomb. Feynman wrote to her every day; six weeks before she died, he wrote: "You are a nice girl. Every time I think of you, I feel good. It must be love. It sounds like a definition of love. It is love. I love you."

This has great charm. Feynman was widowed when he was 27, and 16 months later, he wrote another letter to his dead wife, which we are told bore the signs of repeated handling, ending: "My darling wife, I do adore you. I love my wife. My wife is dead. P.S. Please excuse my not mailing this - but I don't know your new address."

He was too high-spirited, however, to let this tragedy destroy him, and the following year he produced the work that won him the Nobel Prize.

Second book

The Argumentative Indian: Writings on Indian History, Culture and Identityby Amartya Sen

In this superb collection of essays, Sen smashes quite a few stereotypes and places the idea of India and Indianness in its rightful, deserved context. Central to his notion of India, as the title suggests, is the long tradition of argument and public debate, of intellectual pluralism and generosity that informs India's history.


There is this site called http://www.aldaily.com which one should visit if one is interested in reading sensible material.

Brilliant disguise

I hold you in my arms
As the band plays
What are those words whispered baby
Just as you turn away
I saw you last night
Out on the edge of town
I wanna read your mind
To know just what I've got in this new thing I've found
So tell me what I see
When I look in your eyes
Is that you baby
Or just a brilliant disguise
I heard somebody call your name
From underneath our willow
I saw something tucked in shame
Underneath your pillow
Well I've tried so hard baby
But I just can't see
What a woman like you
Is doing with me
So tell me who I see
When I look in your eyes
Is that you baby
Or just a brilliant disguise
Now look at me baby
Struggling to do everything right
And then it all falls apart
When out go the lights
I'm just a lonely pilgrim
I walk this world in wealth
I want to know if it's you
I don't trust'cause I damn sure don't trust myself
Now you play the loving woman
I'll play the faithful man
But just don't look too close
Into the palm of my hand
We stood at the alter
The gypsy swore our future was right
But come the wee wee hours
Well maybe baby the gypsy lied
So when you look at me
You better look hard and look twice
Is that me baby
Or just a brilliant disguise
Tonight our bed is cold
I'm lost in the darkness of our love
God have mercy on the man
Who doubts what he's sure of

Brilliant Disguise, Bruce Springsteen

A200 and Z200

The A200 is the list of people who actually work and make the company run. The Z200 is the list of people who need to be sacked immediately (even before you complete reading this sentence). The other 4600 people are also not needed but we can take our time to evict them, but that needs to be done as a priority, though.

There was a mail from a high placed guy who praised our guys for working and enduring hardship and all when the city was in darkness. Little does he know that several parts of the city are still reeling under darkness. ( he took the saying - "for light to exist there must be darkness" - literally ).

The Islander

The truth about Bombay
(Warning: Contents may be offensive to some or all)

In the early years of the previous century, what is now known as Maharashtra and Gujarat was collectively known as Bombay.

Bombay over the decades, grew to be one of the most important places in the country primarily due to the climate, its natural harbour and the collective efforts and wisdom of the Parsis, Britishers, Portugese and other knowledgeble folks.

Over the years, people from the interiors moved into this place and mistakenly claimed that it was they who had made Bombay, when infact they had only come to grab what was already in place. This included most Maharashtrians and Gujaratis who came from the hinterland.

Going back into history and geography, Bombay was comprised of seven islands.

• Bombay ( [H-shaped] , what is now Malabar Hill , Cumballa Hill , Girgaon and Marine drive)
• Worli
• Parel
• Mahim
• Colaba ( now whats Cuffe Parade etc.)
• Old Womans Island ( areas of Kalbadevi and Fort areas )
• Mazagaon ( now the docks area and Byculla and all )

These all were essentially Bombay.

Local Maharashtrian movements have been formed over the years and self-styled sons of the soil ( what they forget is that this soil meant interior Maharashtra/Gujarat and NOT Bombay as defined above) have raised war-crys that they are the defendants and custodians of the place, whereas infact they are rank outsiders ( very much like the millions who pour into the city from all corners of India). They have rasied slogans like Mee-Mumbaikar, Maharashtra Maaza (meaning as if to say Bombay is theirs, or Mumbai), Marathi-Manoos etc. in order to strike a cord with their fellow relocated locals. They've gone to the extent of claiming that the name Bombay is an adulterated form of Mumbai ( which apparently came from Mumbadevi - some local godess of the area). The truth is that Bombay has been derived from Bom-Baha or something similar meaning Great ( Bom) Bay ( Baha or Baja ) . Just like Baja California. The nomenclature having its roots in Spain and Portugal.

Another mistaken prophecy is that the Kolis were the original inhabitants. Whereas infact they were the first of the hinterlanders to make it here. Probably named themselves after Colaba Island, rather than the other way round.

The truth is that the seven islands were never a part of the mainland (i.e. interior Maharashtra etc. ) and thus Maharashtrian locals (theose who hail from the interiors) have little to claim all of this of their own.

Of course, we cant let history stop at a point of time. History is always being created. So we define that those who were born in the areas (like me !!!) that were part of these islands, should (will) only be known as Bombay originals. The rest can ....

I dont mean to be offensive to all Maharashtrians. There have been many (i'd say few) who have done us proud (lets not include the ones in the entertainment profession, but those who actually did something for the people) over the years. But unfortunately they are a handful. Some include Jayant Narlikar, Kirloskar ... ( if anyone can come up with some more such names, do let me know ) ... [ this is going to be difficult ].

This writeup will be offensive to the sensibilities of Maharashtrian sons of the soil.

Wasted years (??)

So understand
Don't waste your time always searching for those wasted years
Face up...make your stand
And realise you're living in the golden years

Wasted Years, Iron Maiden

I'm at the crossroad of my destiny and desire

I don't know where I'm going, but I can't wait to get there, All I know is, I'm just going ..

I'm running for my life
I was sixteen going nowhere, will I see seventeen alive
And I was running from the nightmare
I stand at the promised land with fire in my eyes
I'm at the crossroad of my destiny and desire
Oh, God, what will I be
And my obsession is the gasoline to feed my fire
Oh it's burning in me

Arena of Pleasure, Crimson Idol, WASP

This is something that is applicable to everyone, without exception. Not just the 16 and 17 year olds as has been stated. But then for the initiated they will understand.

Good canteen at a nuclear establishment

Recently I visited a hospital and on the way back decided to have dinner at the canteen next to it. Although the canteen is within the limits of a research centre, its open for all, and most people dont know about that. The thing was that I got the entire dinner for Rs. 13/- with a sweetdish and a egg too. Quite good. Self service.

The location of the hospital too is quite good. Surrounded by hills and trees. You feel as though you are at a hill station somewhere.

Nothing very posh or expesive and no air-conditioning. But then its clean and properly maintained. Quite impressive.

100% SAP Free

Some stickers and T-shirts are due to be out soon with this statement. Just to show that we are not using kerosene as a fuel and in the process polluting the world. You see this is the equivalent of the Greenpeace project. This is the Greencode project where one uses basic software tuned to ones necessity (and thus more flexible). All this at a cost of zero. Since we also promote the idea that software should be essentially free.

Basic software [for those who came in late or are uninitiated (e.g. Electrical engineers, Electronics engineers, Mechanical engineers, Biology majors, Geologists, Accountants, and in general anyone who has not studied Comp. Sci. as a major.)] is essentially anything using UNIX and related languages such as C++ and perl and awk and nawk and gawk and sed and ps and php and apache and sendmail and ksh and bsh and csh and zsh and all.

Likewise the idea can be extended to books. They should be free. Spread the word. Thats the idea. Dont sit on it and make profits. It will do you harm.

MINISTRY - J.B.M.H.

Soon I discovered that this rock thing was true
Jerry Lee Lewis was the devil
Jesus was an architect previous to his career as a prophet
All of a sudden, I found myself in love with the world
So there was only one thing that I could do
Was ding a ding dang my ...

Ministry, J. Built My Hotrod

Invitation for the flag hoisting function

A certain company has sent invitations to its employees for attending the Independance Day flag hoisting function. If you look at the list of voulnteers and helping hands it will make you wonder. There are 4 people to distribute 'badges' to VIP's. and four more people allotted to 'pin up these badges' on the clothes of the VIPs. If only such meticulous planning could have been done at the time when the company was in crisis during the floods. Looks like the 15-lakh-a-month-MBA's are now trying to show their worth (once again?) .

Last year if one remembers correctly, it had started to rain during the EVC's speech that followed the flag hoisting. It started pouring. The EVC was however protected by his guard who help a few unbrellas over him. The rest of the 'dignitaries' and audience, stayed where they were and drenched themseves in the rain. Tea followed.

The good doctors - BMC and our CM

26/7 is now long gone. The waters come and gone. It took a few with it and now is still taking a few now and then. In the form of water borne diseases. (Remember Quartre Bornes).

People in the city are dying of leptoo and thyphoid and cholera and our CM says theres an epidemic. But the officials say only the BMC can declare its an epidemic. Johnny J. doesnt know whats an epidemic. So when will these 'doctors' of the city come to terms with each other.

Some companies are holding medical camps at flood affected areas in the city. Its another thing that lepto cases have shot up in those areas 'after' the camps were held. Anyway company volunteers gain their rewards and thats what matters.

944mm 26/27 July : Consequences

Several people in the company are being hunted and asked to do irrelevant things like going to r/s, even if the person has no basic knowledge of a r/s and its related functioning. Some, have secured their positions my doing small stints at affected localities. They are roaming around relatively free of any tension. The others are into semi-hiding. Who knows when one might get pulled up to do some nonsensical work. All these are consequences of poor management.

944mm 26/27 July : What happened to the animals

Dogs : Usually can swim around a bit, but with so much water around, they were "at sea" what to do. All their resting places and feeding joints had vanished. It must have been tough to get dry spots, whiuch were at a premium. At about 10 lakh dogs in the city, it would have been a tough night.

Cats: Usually indifferent. Most must have scooted up pipelines and found nesting places on relatielvely dry terraces or sneaked into peoples homes. Not much bothered by the deluge around. Around 7 lakh cats reside in the city.

Buffaloes: The worst affected. Most died horrible deaths at their stables, where they are chained. Their owners didnt release them. As a result they died at the very same places, die to drowning. If they had been set free, they could have saved themselves, since they can swim. More than a lakh in the city.

Elephants: Neck deep water for humans means waist deep for them. Not much affected, since the heaviest flood would not have washed them away. Numbering over 1000 in the city, the jumbos must have 'enjoyed' the prolonged showers.

Rats: A bad day for them. Their rat-holes flooded meant, they were in similar situations as low level home residents. The night spent in scooting around for drier ground. Not to mention the intense competition from other rats. WIth over 20 lakh rats in the city, it wasnt an easy task.

Piegons: Usually nestled on terraces. Must have not been much affected, excpet that food must have been scarce. At 15 lakh piegons, they must have had a moderately tough time.

Sparrows: The ones having nests on trees, must have been affected if those trees fell. Anyway not too many trees were casualties. At 20 lakh sparrows as residents, they must have had a moderately tough time.

Ants: Tough time. So much water. Entire ant-colonies sufferered. Numbering around 15 crore, they ought to have better facilities. The ones living on higher ground were well off, must have not even noticed the deluge.

Snakes: Scene similar to rats. Their underground nests, flooded, most came into the open. Those who could gorge on unsuspecting humans, had their meals. The rest might have been washed away, unless they were good swimmers. Bad scene for the 5 lakh odd snakes of the city.

Lizards: Usually wall creatures, most must have been unaffected unless the "homes" where they stay were flooded upto the ceilings. At 15 lakh lizards, most survived.

944mm 26/27 July : Ill take the full cart

Tuesday brought out the best in each one of us. A friend of mine at 11-High was stranded at his office like all others that day. Towards evening it became apparent that the night would have to be spent at the office. The next thought was what would one do for ones meals at night. All nearby restaurants and eateries were closed or damaged beyond repair. The office canteen contractor had left for the day and hence the canteen services were unavailable. My freind was assessing the situation outside his office, when he spotted a bannana seller. He called him up and bought not 2 or 3 bannanas, but his whole cart. He said at least all the people at the office could have 2 bannanas each and survive the night. My friend is an IIT Delhi B.Tech graduate.

944mm 26/27 July : Tales from GROUND ZERO

Several 'heroes' are returning from their 3 to 4 days of non-stop duties at the r/s's. They are the ones who have made the company survive over the last week. Nevertheless, the 15-lakh-a-month-MBA's (of the glass house) will rake in the rewards, later. These MBA kinds dont even know where Kurle is, leave alone knowing what a transformer is.

Cant the company anounce an incentive of at least a lakh each to employees who spent more than 24 hours at a stretch at the r/s - keeping systems alive,mobilising resources and facing irate mobs.

Aside: I know two of such 'heroes' who deputed themselves to one of the r/s at GROUND ZERO. But this was just to ensure that power got restored to their own homes at the earliest. For when it was restored, the two vanished from GROUND ZERO. Nevertheless, their names get recorded in the list of 'heroes'.

944mm 26/27 July : Welcome to Kurla Valley

The newest vacation destination to be promoted by the Maharashtra Govt.

If youve been to Kurla in drier times, you would have observed that the place is full of filth and crowded as hell. Not to get alarmed. The suburb houses one of the biggest scrap markets in the world. The guys there deal with everything under the car (not sun) - tyres, oil, kerosene, engines, etc. - not to say drugs and other similar things. Now most (if not all) of these "businessmen" here have chosen this place by choice, not by fate. Its convenient by all respects - a nice gutter like river ("The Mithi Rivier") flows through it where they can dump everything at will, - lax administrtion which will look the other side for a few notes (our Mumbai Police is real cheap, you should realise). So, in other words they thrive here.

Now suddenly the world has realised that its flooded and dirty there. Anyway with this kind of surroundings, what else did people expect there to happen ?

What will happen now is that the old boy will now get a scrubbing. Legend goes that the BMC first found out where Kurla was, before they reached there. They had never known the place existed.

And once its cleaned of the dirt .. the MBA's will swoop down. ... and then ... welcome to "Kurla Valley". Maybe Tendulkar and Jhony Joseph will book bungalows at this dream resort destination. You see, the common folks lose out here too.

944mm 26/27 July : Our useless PM

A few days back when the city was submerged, our good-for-nothing Prime Minister, flew around over the city in a helicopter. Later he praised the state government (belongs to his own party) for the excellent work done by them in handling the situation. Now what can get better than this.

Also the big-T was whisked off from his buglalow in a boat to a five-star hotel. This time around the big-T has not made noises about the collapse of the situation. He's become old now. Even old animals in zoos seldom come out to greet visitors. Likewise him.

The big-B lost lots of stuff that he had stored in his basement. He joined the list of lakhs of such other 'ordinary' people who likewise lost their stuff on ground floors of buildings.

The chairman of a private firm that distributes power has dared the administration to arrest him and his cronies. Now everyone in India knows who actually runs the country. Its an old fact. Nothing new.

In a way people should have guessed that this was all coming. When it would come was the question. Its already on us now. Enjoy.

And in any case by next week people will say - "what rains ? where ?". 944mm would have become history. To be taught in geography classes, when they teach precipitation to the kids.

944mm 26/27 July : A company and dogs

We are talking about the company that was refferred to in the previous post.

You might have heard that so and so company went to the dogs. This time around, the difference was that the dogs came to the company. This unfortunate thing happened about two years ago. More than the existing emplyoees, the general public of Bombay was made to suffer, as is evident from the absolute no-show by this organisation in the past few days.

I mean if a rival company and MSEB have to bail you out, then with what face can you carry out your operations. And they speak of being world-class. Its more a case of being third-class.

The guy who runs this company is however only interested in the greens. So lets not talk more on this right now.

944mm 26/27 July : The failures. Amongst them a power company

The blame game has now begun. Many agencies such as the BMC, the police, the MMRDA, the MUTP, the state governement itself,have faced a lot of crticism for the poor show. In addition to this a private company that supplies power to the suburbs has also come in for a lot of criticism on account of their no-show. They have been accused of not restoring supply to many places even after a week. Top management people in the company are to be arrested soon, if media reports are to be beleived. In any case this company has made a mess of the electric distribution system in Bombay. In fact whereever they have started business, theyve made a mess. Examples are Delhi and parts of Orissa. Spares and essential equipment has been missing, since the new MBA's who now control the operations, had thought that these kinds of things are unnecessary and so didnt bother to stock them up. This company didnt take help that was offered by other agencies and the govt. Ultimately they had to , since public pressure was building up like anything. The (usually underestimated) MSEB and a rival electric distribution company ultimately came to their rescue. Ground operations are in a mess. Anyway, its widely accepted that this company we are talking about was MUCH better in its earlier form, before the dogs came to take over the company.